Work, work, work and more work!

Holy crap, my life is all work now days.  I am not complaining because for once in my life I am going to have a great paycheck!  I have also had so many photo shoots this month!  Every week on my days off from my part-time job, I have had at least one photo shoot a day =)  Funny cause about a month ago I was getting really sad how slow my business has been going.  I started thinking that I was a bad photographer which made me even more sad.  I then began to pray and ta dah.... look at me now.  

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about my life.  I started to realize things and I'm like "DAH KARLEE!!!!!"  

I recently got to talk to someone that has hated me for about a year now.  Maybe the situation wasnt the best but I don't really care.  Its hard to show someone how much love you have for them when they have refused to see it.  Maybe someday we'll be friends again, or maybe we never will..... but at least he got to see me and know I am not the girl I was a year ago (a bad friend).

Lately, I have been so happy.  Just like I was about two years ago.  It feels great!  I love living away from my family.  If they read this, they might get mad lol.... but its hard when they are constantly wanting to know where I am or if I am at work or all that stuff that drives people (or just myself?) crazy!  Living farther away gets me a love for them that is hard to give when we live near each other.  Its a deeper love than I can explain.  I have an amazing family.  They're all unique in some way and to me that is how its suppose to be.  

I am single.  I love it.  I hate it.   Mostly, I love having freedom.  Its the greatest feeling ever.  It kinda scared me though cause  I think that I am going to have a hard time settling down.  But, there is nothing wrong with getting married later on in life.  I'm not a failure for not being married like most of my best friends(being married that is.... because people (LDS), tend to think something is wrong with you if you're not married by 22).  I am happy.  I'm not a failure!  =)

So, my life is about to get even more crazy....and I am stoked about it!  My wonderful soccer job I have where I follow the girls around and snap pictures of them at all their games is about to start!  I get this weird excited feeling just thinking about it.  Like I am super ecstatic about it =)  Yay!!!!!  Barlow Girls Varsity Soccer

Anyway, I must edit a few more pictures from my photo shoot yesterday =)  I love this family! Karlee Jean Photography  

Love you all, Karlee <3
 

Vent a little, listen a little...

Its always nice to have a friend that you can be 100% honest with.  Some (a lot) of my friends I have to watch what I say in fear of being judged, made fun of, etc.  Tonight I was with a few friends (after un-packing all day!  Well, an hour was spent getting my new license) and someone ask me a question about my recent relationship.  When I was being completely honest, all I kept getting was these horrible judging facial expressions from her.  Talk about uncomfortable.  It made me sad to know someone was judging someone they didnt even know even when I don't judge him. 

I was bothered by this the rest of the night, in fact, I still am.  

Afterwards, I took a friend home and we talked in my car for awhile about all different things.  Luckily, I knew I wasn't being judged.  We can relate because we have a lot in common.  

Recently, I was talking to another friend and she told me she didnt like who I was when I dated my 1st boyfriend.  I guess its hard for people to understand, but I know myself better than anyone.  I don't think I can blame anything on him.  In my defense, he got the worst Karlee has ever been.  He dated me two months after I got raped.  Any girl would be F'd up after that.  It wasnt until about a year to the date of my "R" that I started to become the person I was before it happened.  

Thank goodness my recent ex met me after I was like my old self again.  He got the much better Karlee out of it.  

So.... people have this horrible stigma about mental illnesses.  What do I think? GET OVER IT!  No one choose to be bi polar, no one choose to be manic...  that's life.  No one is perfect..... only the Lord is.  Remember this:  "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you do."  

Thank you for letting me vent tonight..... you know who you are =)