Hear it like it is

 I am obsessed with music!  Especially when I hear and song and think "Wow!  This is exactly how i feel!"  Here is some songs that are words to my heart....

I knew you were trouble

Home

Wide Awake

We are NEVER EVER getting back together!

Back to December (my case january)

A Team

Letter's to the ex's

Lately, I have been on my own road in life.  I wish that I could write a letter to bring you hope, but that's just not me right now.

I've been wanting to write a letter to each of my ex's.....

Dear R.C.,
Thank you for being so much fun when we dated.  I enjoyed the short time we had.  I look back and cant think of one bad thing you did.  So short, theres not much to say lol. -KP

Dear N.R.,
Man, we had a rough relationship.  It was bittersweet dating you.  I can say I learned A LOT!  It opened up my world from what I raised myself to believe/think.  You are my longest relationship and in a way, im kinda glad.  I dont know if I ever completely fell in love with you, but you have always been on my mind since we've stopped dating.  At times it has taken me everything not to call or text you.  But, I told you to never contact me again, so I am going to obey my own rule.   Thank you for giving me a chance after such shit I had just gone through.   You really got the worst of me i've ever been and I am so sorry. I think we ended on horrible terms, which made me extremely depressed and I ended up in the hospital because of it.  I can only blame myself for my own actions.  I hope you're doing well now and I can only hope and pray you find some  girl that will make you forget I ever existed! -KP

Dear B.C.,
You were right when you ask me to never contact you again...and I wont.   I hope all is going well for you and that you're making smart choices with your life.  I'm sorry I didn't give you a second chance, but it was for the best.  It was too good to be true, sadly.  -KP

Camera Strap Cover!!!!!!!

My friends Sasha and Kristal were over tonight and we were helping Kristal with a craft project.  I suddenly though "Maybe Sasha will make me a camera cover!"  So, I ask her and showed her pictures of what I like from pinterest camera strap cover.  She agreed, and then I picked out my fabrics I wanted.  She used my moms sewing machine (don't tell her haha).  My friend Kristal is also a photographer so she wanted one too.  After a couple hours of Sasha's amazingly talented time, she was finished with both straps.  I took pictures of mine..... Tell me what you think!  THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH SASHA!  I LOVE YOU FOREVER! Also, I made peppermint popcorn peppermint popcorn and now we're watching The Grinch Who Stole Christmas =)  Best night of my life! 

Where I stood

I have been listening to the song "Where I stood" by Missy Higgins http://youtu.be/PCLERYzJsYA

I miss him a lot.  Maybe because he was there for me when the rest of the world wasnt.  That I can thank him for.  But when it comes to my future husband, I want to love him for being exactly him.  I dont want him to have to change things about himself in order for me to be okay with him.  I want to be able to be me and him be okay with that too.  But, one thing is for sure...... I am sooooo not ready to date again.  But when I am..... I'm going a different route on where I am going to find him-hahahahaha.  

I've never hated someone, yet cared about them so much.  It pisses me off!  

Battle against my enemy!

I have been so discouraged latey.  Today when I got in my car after the soccer game, i started crying.  I drove to my friends house and cried in front of her.  I feel like I do so much and no one notices.  I know they do..... but I work my ass off and then get knocked down.  I am truly my own worst enemy.

I thought this year was going to "be my year" but its been far from it.  I've been in the hospital twice this year and it sucks.  I have a very long road ahead of me.  Too long if you ask me.

I am finding my photography isnt nearly as good as i thought.  I have some days were its awesome and others when its crap.  I dont know if i should just stop so i wont be disappointed anymore, or if i should keep it up.  I feel like ill never be good at anything!  Hurts my heart to say that out loud.  But no one reads my blogs anymore so i'm sure only 1-2 people will read this. 

I dont know what I should do...... lost and confused! FML

Some Nights...

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This post is going to be very random.....

"Some Nights" by: Fun.

Lately this song has really stuck with me.  I can't seem to figure out who I am.  I want to be a good person.  I want people to look up to me.  But what do I honestly stand for?  I know my testimony of the gospel has slowly been fading since last year.  Maybe its cause I havent been going to church a lot like I use to.  I believe in the church, but I have a hard time following the word of wisdom and commandments.  

I try not to judge anyone.  The only person I can judge is myself.  Life isn't easy, I know that.  Everyone does things differently and everyone needs to accept that.

I've made some choices I wish I didnt.  Havent we all though? 

I can't get a certain someone off my mind.  Its pissing me off.  I dont love him at all, but for some reason, I can't completely let go.  WHY?!  Yet I want to erase him from my mind!!!!!  

Im done for now.  ug

 

A love like them

Today was a great day!  My friend Kristal and I decided to go to the beach.  We arrived at 4:30pm lol tand left by 7:30pm.  I had a lot of fun taking pictures with Kristal whom is also a photographer.  We went to Seaside and Cannon Beach.  Here are some pictures..... 

This is my favorite picture!  There was an elderly couple holding hands walking in the sand on the beach.  It was sooooo cute!  Coincidentally, on the ledge I was standing by, it had love on it and it was perfect for this old couple in love.  I can only hope to someday find a love like these two.